January 2012
“Sooooo glad it’s the last day of 2011!!!! SUCH a sucky year. Can’t...”
– every girl ever
December 2011
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a haiku for the bus driver who deliberately drove...
l7one:
I swear to god bruh Let me catch you in the streets Bruh I swear to god
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must……do pushups….before sleep….
must… never have arm flab……..
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Beyonce is seriously so talented like omg
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uuughghghghg this show is so GOOD
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I usually limit myself to a MAXIMUM of 4 episodes a day for a show I like
but today I watched 4 episodes of Bleach and … I’m going to watch another
some people literally ask questions like “hey are there any parties tonight??????”
HOW
ARE YOU JUST AUTOMATICALLY INVITED TO EVERY PARTY???
whatEVER
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I was cursed with a horrific set of teeth
the past 3+ years have been filled with nothing but stupid, painful, and unlucky coincidences in my mouth
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Watchadrians:
I really like jaffa cakes
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stankubrick:
jpegartifacts:
We should illegalise masturbation for men because every single one of those sperm is a potential life just dying on your sheets. How would you feel if you were launched out of your existence and everything you could be and splattered into oblivion?
I’m hiring a writer to pen a poem for the anti-masturbatory cause from the point of view of a sperm cell. “Daddy,...
how do I learn to tip people if I can’t math
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nutski:
m0thra:
I make the best French Toast
no questions about it
NOpE sara i’m sorry but emma here makes the best french toast to ever exist…literally ever
um excUSE ME?? let me come to Canada and I’ll have a french toast-off with that ho
vulpeschama:
gay = homosexual
faggot = a fucking faggot
intellectually disabled = people with special learning needs
retarded = fucking retarded
black = people with dark skin
nigger = a fucking nigger
anyone who gets upset over “bad words” = fucking retarded niggerfag
my dad still thinks Obama’s birth certificate is fake omg
maybe my dad isn’t a lunatic…
maybe Obama was actually born in a different galaxy, in the future, only to go back in time and travel lightyears on his dick-shaped spaceship so he could finally live out his life-long dream of being the first “black” President (he’s actually just a colorless blob, but...
tlyudacris:
tumblr has gone full on gangsta with this shit
hello! it seems that you are using a browser hack…. it’d be a shame if something bad were to happen to you and your blog…
be a reeeaaallll shame…
yeah I just clicked the box saying “I understand that it could result in loss of privacy, but I still want to keep Missing E, you big faggot”
I ain’t uninstallin that shit
milasweetcunt:
oh my god
I make the best French Toast
no questions about it
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kohthefacestealer:
the end of 2011 usually means “the best of 2011” shows
where the stupid commercials go
“who will be your #1 pick of 2011?
katy perry had us taking off like a firework
chris brown had us looking at him now with a great comeback
rihanna helps us find love with her new album
and jay-z & kanye west both had cray years to say the least
stay tuned to see who will be your...
god I had this dream
and I was just trying to buy some tacos and rice in a ghetto neighborhood and this creepy guy was like all up in my face and stuff
like dude just let me buy my ghetto tacos in peace
lordpayne:
this was like two years ago
but anyways so in this one part of my house there’s these three steps but omg they’re deadly
one time i was eating cereal and i slipped and fell and passed out and my cereal got everywhere. My sister said the last thing I yelled before I passed out was
“MY CEREAL!!!”
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pushups suck I hate my life why do I do this to myself before bed
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Anonymous asked: 54
54. How many dicks can sara put in her butt?
Sara can fit 10,000 dicks in her butt.
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listening to my own piano composition and crying
what has my life become
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what it was like going to a religious school from preschool to 5th grade -
I really loved it there. Every week, in the beginning of the week, kids would raise their hands and tell the class something they wanted to pray for. The one chosen to do prayers that week would write it down on the whiteboard. The prayer requests ranged from prayers for big brothers who were in highschool taking finals,...
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elaina i’m going to shoot ur stupid face
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Me: loser
Laird: at least I don't like girls
Laird: shit wait
i need entertainment
what do i DO??!!??!??
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bigtuboflaird replied to your post: my parents must be asexual because I’ve never…
I was getting a blanket one time and I heard my mom and dad going at it. then another time I was watching tv and paused it and heard them it happens more often than I would like
you poor soul
my parents must be asexual because I’ve never walked in on them or heard them doing it
the thought though
eugh
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Anonymous asked: ☀
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asapfap asked: ♧
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Anonymous asked: ♧ !
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æ: Post a picture of yourself.
✌: Share a childhood memory.
♡: Make a confession.
❁: Share one of your insecurities.
✓: Share something about yourself others might think is weird.
☹: Share a turn off.
☀: Share a turn on.
♬: Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past.
♧: Share the story of something that makes you smile.
☆: Share one thing you think about before you go to bed at night.
☮: Share a relationship story.
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capslockonlock replied to your post: god I wish I could ice skate
like you wish you knew how to or you wish you could go and do it because I attempted to the other day and seeing three-year-olds do it better than me basically ruined all hopes I had of getting to the olympics
naw man I meant like… figure-skating
I can ice skate but I can’t figure skate
I JUST WANT TO BE PRETTY